Money management can be stressful at times, but I am learning that understanding that it's my desires and timing can harm my budget. Once I gained an understanding that my wants and desires impact my spending, I began working on my desires. I am also learning that societal mindsets of spending opm (other people money) is a major issue when it comes to my budget. Honestly, I never realized I would have to stand against other people that think it's a good idea if I buy something. I have also had to learn that loans are OPM. When we want to get loans all the time or use credit cards, we are spending other people's money, and often, we do not consider what we can do down the road. I think it is unbelievable how people think that people with money know what to spend on but in reality, they don't know either.
Here's an article I came across about people giving advice, but they don't take their own advice.
"Responsibility is trying not to solve problems you are in no way equipped to fix."
More confirmation that we can not take money advise from everyone and If you want to go by things that others have proven works, make sure they know from experience. Experience is going through a situation, and the advice I offer does not come from reading someone else's book. I have learned that what is important to me and my budget is not important to someone else. What someone puts value on is different from what I value. So, if someone has money to buy something, I think it is important, but they don't put the same value on that purchase, that person will feel deprived.
If I tell you do not eat out, but you enjoy eating out, I think you need to adjust your budget to fit that into your life. Yes, I use to say the same thing stop eating out, and it does eat up a lot of money, so to speak, but if it makes you happy, perhaps there is something else you do not want or need in your life you can let that go. Also, can you eat out and still cover bills and the most important purchases now and in the future? I know people that eat out, but later, they can not pay their light bill. If you have groceries and still need to eat out, that is more of convenience, but if you do not want your groceries then stop buying so much of those so you can eat out. Does that make you irresponsible? I do not think so as long as you eat and you can not force this on someone else like a spouse, and I have noticed I am healthier since I rarely eat out, but that's my personal experience.
I also was against car loans in the past, but with the loans being less than seven years, I do not think it is a bad thing now, and honestly, I think a car loan is better than a mortgage. I do not believe you should have both a car loan and a mortgage. If you get a new car and rent a place to live, make sure you can still pay your rent. That is better than having a mortgage and car loans. Also, your monthly car payment should never be more than your rent payment or mortgage payments. I have learned we try to purchase too much at once. We seem to think we have more money than we have, and we excuse this pressure with false hope or what the world calls faith. One more thought on debt, I don't think credit card debt is ever good debt.
Creating Your Budget and OPM (Other People Money)
Remember, when creating your budget, you cannot count on spending other people's money. If you spend all your money, you can not expect someone to make up the difference or lean on credit cards or other lines of credit. So, plan well and be alright with what you deem important. In turn, if you are someone helping someone else and that person is spending within reason, remember what you think is important may not be important to someone else so don't try to punish them if they do not think like you do. If they come to you every once in a while, remember we all will need help from time to time and that doesn't make that person irresponsible. Even the best planner will run into a challenging month and sometimes months. Believe me, you will be able to spot an irresponsible person, and you can say no to them because they have decided to spend other peoples money.
Either way don't try and control someone elses spending or let someone else control yours. Married couples will have to make agreements and meet in the middle and you will find each of you will try to stick to the budget.